How To Be A Bomb Wingwoman
Talking to strangers is super hard! How do you help your girlfriend when you know she's shy or just out of a bad break up? Do you have a fabulous, single friend who wants to hang out with you and your qt-pie but you know that she is worrying about turning your love bicycle into an awkward tandem bike? Before you all head out for a long night of shenanigans here are a few things for you to consider before you help your homie find a delicious person to chat up.
This is not about you
The role of a wing woman is not to hold court. It's to help your friend break the ice with strangers and to turn the spotlight on them. Help your friend by channeling your inner Donna Meagle from the show Parks and Recreation. Donna has unstoppable game and goes out of her way to help out poor Ann Perkins even though Donna keeps her draft fresh. Lift your friend up, celebrate their accomplishments and know that you are both in the jungle, baby.
Survey Your Kingdom
While you are working that spotlight on your friend, remember to stay focused. If you are standing in a corner holding your drink but not talking to anyone, why did you put on your hard pants? When you’re aware of what is going on around you, you have the ability to scope out any potential sex machines, look for interesting things going on around you or just scan the crowd looking for people who, based on their aesthetic, seem worthy of your company. After all, you would not want your friend going home with someone who thinks it's okay to wear front pleated pants. Stop that nonsense before it starts by protecting your friend from harm!
Have a Battle Plan
Since you know your friends better than a total stranger, be prepared to break the ice for them. Once you have made contact, use your sweet small talk skills to talk up your friend while being a great friend. Once you've figured out that the person your friend has been swooning over all night is hooked, use your exit strategy. Take that phone call from Beyoncé. Did you just see Joe Biden? Either way, give yourself an out so that either your friend can continue on their own path or they will come back to you. Modern love is tricky. Your homie wants out of the conversation and only you can help? Go full Christian Grey on your friend, ahead of time of course, and have a ‘safe word’. It might be useful at the end of the night when the lights come on and you both discover the dreamboat from 4 drinks ago has on black shoes with white socks. RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
These three small tips can help you get your friend out of a rut, even for a night. After all, your friends would be doing the same for you if you were in their shoes! Supporting each other, while lifting each other up is hard enough with the world conspiring against you (the weather, a run in your stocking, your eyelash glue not working correctly, spinach in your teeth and so on), but remember that you have the most important job in the world when you are out with your friends. You are looking out for your friends and helping them meet quality people in the hopes that they will find that special connection. No matter if you are partnered up or simply ‘Awesome, Party of 1’ you are doing the damn thing. Remember, Wingwoman = WW = Wonder Woman. You are so qualified for this job it is unbelievable.